An umbrella term which embraces a matrix of sexual preferences, orientations, and habits of the not-exclusively- heterosexual-and-monogamous majority

Queer includes lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transpeople, intersex persons, the radical sex communities, and many other sexually transgressive (underworld) explorers

Packing – Wearing a phallic device on the groin and under clothing for any purposes including: (for someone without a biological penis) the validation or confirmation of one's masculine gender identity; seduction; and/or sexual readiness (for one who likes to penetrate another during sexual intercourse).

Fag Hag – A term primarily used to describe women who prefer the social company of gay men. While this term is claimed in an affirmative manner by some, it is largely regarded as derogatory.

Switch – A person who is both a ‘Top' and a ‘Bottom', there may or may not be a preference for one or the other.

Top - A person who is said to take a more dominant role during sexual interactions. May also be known as ‘Pitcher.'

Transvestite – Someone who dresses in clothing generally identified with the opposite gender/sex. While the terms ‘homosexual' and ‘transvestite' have been used synonymously, they are in fact signify two different groups. The majority of transvestites are heterosexual males who derive pleasure from dressing in “women's clothing”. (The preferred term is ‘cross-dresser,' but the term ‘transvestite' is still used in a positive sense in England.)

So... the next time I decide to describe myself to someone on line or in a bar should I tell them that I am a Femme woman who loves dykes that are D&D and not on the D/L, who can ‘switch' any time they want and can never ‘pack' anything more than a lunch?

Will I tell them that I am a woman and a mom, I have a spoiled dog who sleeps in the bed with me (I have had worse in the bed believe me white man Porto women. ) I pee sitting down, put me knickers on one leg at a time when I do wear them. Forget to brush my teeth when I have consumed too much wine, belch and okay, sometimes, and I mean only sometimes, I Fart.

A couple of months ago I had mentioned to a colleague at work how difficult it was to meet anyone, I guess when you live in practically the back ass of no where and you are or at least you think you are the ‘only gay in the village' its difficult to meet someone.

“yeah” she said, ‘my cousin met someone on there a few months back and she is really happy. its an introductory dating site.”

That night once home from work, Martha's homework complete, dishes in the sink, dog walked, mind you it was her shortest walk ever. I could not wait to sit down at my computer and FIND TRUE LOVE. How exciting.

The story that ensues is pure truth, all the names have been changed to conceal the identities of the women in the story.

Stone Butch / Femme– A person who may or may not desire sexual penetration and/or contact with the genitals or breasts

Once I had signed up, which, by the way took all evening. Honestly, I filled in so much information!! There was a Relationship Chemistry Predictor, Relationship Needs Assessment, and I also filled in their new psychological assessment. Apparently if you filled in these ‘extra' categories you were more likely to meet a better ‘perfect match'. HA.

I can guarantee most women must lie because after the few experiences that I had there is no way on this earth that these women lived up to any of my ‘relationship needs”. The chemistry predicted by POF was a recipe for an explosion in a chemistry lab and how these women passed the psychological assessment and were not found to be criminally insane is beyond me.